The rules of paying for sex

The golden Rules of paying for poon

Buy British

The first golden rule of happy punting is simple. If you want to reduce your chances of a bad experience, buy British. That’s it. 

Avoid the Romanians 

Every time I have used a Romanian escort I have left with an empty pocket, soul and two thoughts. The first thought was what a waste of money. The second was I wish I had gone home and had a wank instead. 

Agree terms verbally

This links back to those Romanian girls Babies. They don’t tend to want to speak to you on the phone. Everything is done by text. Agreed by a handler that feeds your booking to the local girls

Their handler agrees to anything your willy desires. Anal, finger play, swinging off the fucking light fittings. You drum up horny and excited. The girls nods as you pay and reiterate the agreed kinky session ahead. Fucks off with your cash and. Says these immortal words as you go to touch her pussy. “No baby, that’s extra”. 

Oral without (OWO)

Most guys who contact me have a partner at home. The bright boys cover up. Use condoms for everything. The fucking idiots want OWO.  For a while I would try to educate them.  Now I just block them.   

Understand what you are buying

A lot of guys get a bit lost what they are buying. Generally, you are buying conditional sex. Not valuational intimate sex.  For a lot of years, I didn’t understand the difference. 

Validation sex is the good stuff. When a partner goes that extra mile. Does that glorious monkey sex. It’s the sex you dream about and more. Crave. Most likely, the sex you haven’t with her indoors for years. 

Conditional sex takes many forms. For many guys it’s the only sex they have ever had. They don’t even know there is something so beyond it. If you must do anything like domestic chores, making her happy to get her to lay on her back like a corpse while you fuck her, you are having “Conditional sex”. 

Phones

Use your brain when it comes to phones. The cleanest way is a burn phone hidden in plain sight. Avoid the rooky mistakes with this,

Tidy as you go habitually and obsessively 

Tidy as you go habitually, obsessively. It’s cheaper than a divorce lawyer. And takes less effort than moving all your shit to a bedsit when she finds out you been banging hookers. 

Tidy the phone. This includes galleries, recycling bins for messages and pictures (you have both).   Search histories on Google. Especially those family ones she controls to “Keep an eye on the kids”. And you, my friend! Searches should always be incognito and closed.  Satellite navigation is another thing that needs a tidy. Certainly, if you are shopping and entering post codes. Use the incognito function. 

The female sniff test

Women’s sense of smell is between seven to eleven times better than a man. Go in smelling of another woman, condoms or too clean you are busted.  Shag when you are working away. She is away. You have an excuse to walk straight to the shower. 

Cash is king 

Cash is still the chosen transaction in most punts. I do take card, discreetly billed. Not many companies do now.  However, most legit escorts are good with cash.   Sneak your punting cash out of accounts bit by bit. Normally £20 or£30 withdrawals.

Having my say, how bad can it get!

The worse Escort I have ever and mean ever had, was Sofia from Diamond Escorts Essex. She advertises as Spanish. I think not baby!  She still is on the scene.

Just awful on every single level of escorts humanly possible.  A decent enough bit of tail, but! She refused to do more than let you look at her naked. Tried to charge me extra for oral.  Wouldn’t let me touch her titis or pussy. 

More suited to being a tax inspected for the Inland Revenue. Closely Followed by Sky who educated me on my white privilege for thirty minutes. Before being fucked begrudgingly by my white cock.